Couple Counselling in Central London and Dorking, Surrey
Couple counselling is for all relationship problems whether in a marriage, with a partner of either sex or with girlfriend or boyfriend. It is very different from individual counselling in that we are looking at what is happening in the space between the couple - the 'relational space'.
There is a way through the misery of a relationship in trouble where the space between the couple has become polluted. However, it needs skilled navigation to chart the journey...
In working with couples I draw on the ideas and practice of some of the western world's leading relationship experts. As humans we all crave connections. Isolation is one of the worst punishments. Relationships are what we do.
Couple counselling - the mechanics
The initial couple appointment is scheduled for the usual 'therapeutic hour' (50 minutes face-to-face).
Often as we continue I find that a longer 75 minute session works well with couples giving more time and space but this is something we discuss and decide together.
Where couple clients are visiting the UK for a short period, longer extended sessions can work well perhaps half day or day session.
The problems in a relationship that has led to the couple coming for professional help have invariably built up over a long period of time. Often they have been left to fester between the couple for a considerable time. It is of course far better to confront the growing problems early on but not many of us manage that.
It is possible that couple counselling can work quickly to transform a relationship in trouble but usually it will take some time and a determined commitment from both partners.
Oscar Wilde, L'Envoi, 1882, Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
Sex in Counselling
Sex is everywhere. We are surrounded by images, adverts, news stories, TV dramas, books and films in which sex features large. The advertising and marketing industry is not wrong: sex sells - it triggers a response like nothing else does.
But talking frankly about sex in the counselling room is often not easy. It is all too easy to come with problems in a relationship and not mention the sex. Yet from adolescent to mature adult and on into old age sex or the absence of it, or the craving for it is a powerful, often the most powerful force in our lives.
So it is important that the therapeutic relationship you have with your counsellor and the 'working alliance' that you form in counselling sessions enables you to talk about anything including the ‘strangest', most way-out thoughts, fantasies, dreams, worries and experiences in any and every sphere of your life, including the most intimate sexual and personal spheres.
If stuff in these areas is concerning you, you have to feel utterly free to talk about it in a totally non-judgemental, understanding and empathic space - after all that is why you are spending good money on counselling fees.